Common sense is not so common.

This is not a good substitute for furry love:

This is not a good substitute for furry love:

Lex: Doc, let me show my remorse for missing our sessions by paying you! Oh wait! I’m already paying you! <hahaha> Ok <sits down>, I’m sorry. What did I miss while I was away?

Dr. Racional: Good to see you too Lex. Are you drunk?

L: NO! What makes you say that? I’m FULL of holiday cheer! My new perfume must be too strong for you. <snicker> Anyway I don’t want you to feel obligated to help me sort anything out just because I’m paying you.

DR: Of course not. How was your holiday?

L: Lovely lovely. More family mess than I can shake a hand at. Did I tell you bout my cousin? The one that is now OLD and PREGNANT?  Well after our family  festivities, which consisted of crying, dining and dying <eye roll> I accompanied her to the clinic to get an abortion. Notably, people thought I was the partner and everyone gave me glaring yet empathic looks. I didn’t know if I shouted "I’m HER COUSIN" would help or get me shot! So the procedure is this Friday and I will support her by getting her tubs of ice cream and silly movies for the period, no pun intended, afterwards.

DR: How do you feel about her decision?

L: I support her in her ways. She has the ability to make up her own mind and not be influenced by others, which is like the most important thing to learn in life – that is to be your own person. She’ll be fine no matter what happens. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a little niece or nephew but heck I ain’t changing the diapers so don’t listen to me!

DR: So you like children?

L: In the most shallow way. I like to make them do things like step on the feet of people I don’t like in shops, dress them up in outfits, tickle them so much they tire out. They have the best times without much consequence, and I just want to make them enjoy it while they can.  I think I’ll have little patience for  actual discipline.

DR: What makes you think you won’t be a good teacher?

L: I blame it on my mother, who never had much patience with me. Like mum, my tolerance for "kid-like" behavior is pretty fucking low. I don’t know I ever survived childhood!

DR: <scribbles on pad> Do you wish you had a choice to be your own "kid" or just act like one when you were younger?

L: Wow. <pause> You may have just earned your pay! <smile> Yes I would love to act socially unacceptable for my age all the time, but I don’t because those people get laughed at, scorn, excluded and snubbed from society in general. I mean seriously, if I were to throw a fit every time they forget to exclude the pat of butter on my pancakes at IHOP I’d be just a picky little anal dick right? Or how about playing like everyone’s picking on me all the time? all mopey and dopey gets old fast with adults. How is this any different from anyone else’s wants? It’s called growing up.

DR: You sound like a person that has a lot of control over themselves.

L: Years of practice and meditation<laugh>, ok not really. I don’t think it’s 100% healthy though. Most of time I just feel frustrated that these acts are not returned. What a bummer . <pause> Sometimes I have a couple drinks to make the wall of adulthood come down a bit. It also has effects of excusing action – like no one really blames a person fully on their actions while that person is drunk because they have less ‘control’ over themselves. I can see why this action is addictive <smile>, but I’m not a very addictive person.

DR: … because you have control of yourself.

L: mm, more like I like to have control of myself 95% of the time.  This is the primary reason why I attend parties whenever possible.

DR: Sounds reasonable. Anything else happen during the holiday season? This time brings a lot of control and lack of control issues with people in general.

L: <pause> Oh, many more stories before I sleep. Aside from the family cheer, I got into a horrible argument trying to buy a pair of shoes at Hoitee Toitee department store. So the problem was that the sales person was having a horrible day and I just wanted to get a pair of shoes. Needless to say someone else received the commission, but it was just a situation that could have been completely avoided if they understood that a service based job is subjective at ALL times.  Plus, I think that if I am paying the price partially for the item and for the service, I expect to get both of them.

I thought this season was about cheer and thankfulness of the things we have already and the people around us. Instead it’s the season to run people over to get stuff that we don’t have but want. This is so depressing. Let me take more drugs <popping an aspirin>.

<pausing>Anyfoo, I’m looking forward to pampering my cousin after her procedure appointment.

DR: Sounds like a very adult thing for you to do <smile>.  <gets up> So I’ll see you next time? Try not to get too childish over the remaining seasonal parties to miss our sessions?

L: <hahaha> I will try not to!

Lex: Doc, let me show my remorse for missing our sessions by paying you! Oh wait! I’m already paying you! <hahaha> Ok <sits down>, I’m sorry. What did I miss while I was away?

Dr. Racional: Good to see you too Lex. Are you drunk?

L: NO! What makes you say that? I’m FULL of holiday cheer! My new perfume must be too strong for you. <snicker> Anyway I don’t want you to feel obligated to help me sort anything out just because I’m paying you.

DR: Of course not. How was your holiday?

L: Lovely lovely. More family mess than I can shake a hand at. Did I tell you bout my cousin? The one that is now OLD and PREGNANT?  Well after our family  festivities, which consisted of crying, dining and dying <eye roll> I accompanied her to the clinic to get an abortion. Notably, people thought I was the partner and everyone gave me glaring yet empathic looks. I didn’t know if I shouted "I’m HER COUSIN" would help or get me shot! So the procedure is this Friday and I will support her by getting her tubs of ice cream and silly movies for the period, no pun intended, afterwards.

DR: How do you feel about her decision?

L: I support her in her ways. She has the ability to make up her own mind and not be influenced by others, which is like the most important thing to learn in life – that is to be your own person. She’ll be fine no matter what happens. Personally, I wouldn’t mind a little niece or nephew but heck I ain’t changing the diapers so don’t listen to me!

DR: So you like children?

L: In the most shallow way. I like to make them do things like step on the feet of people I don’t like in shops, dress them up in outfits, tickle them so much they tire out. They have the best times without much consequence, and I just want to make them enjoy it while they can.  I think I’ll have little patience for  actual discipline.

DR: What makes you think you won’t be a good teacher?

L: I blame it on my mother, who never had much patience with me. Like mum, my tolerance for "kid-like" behavior is pretty fucking low. I don’t know I ever survived childhood!

DR: <scribbles on pad> Do you wish you had a choice to be your own "kid" or just act like one when you were younger?

L: Wow. <pause> You may have just earned your pay! <smile> Yes I would love to act socially unacceptable for my age all the time, but I don’t because those people get laughed at, scorn, excluded and snubbed from society in general. I mean seriously, if I were to throw a fit every time they forget to exclude the pat of butter on my pancakes at IHOP I’d be just a picky little anal dick right? Or how about playing like everyone’s picking on me all the time? all mopey and dopey gets old fast with adults. How is this any different from anyone else’s wants? It’s called growing up.

DR: You sound like a person that has a lot of control over themselves.

L: Years of practice and meditation<laugh>, ok not really. I don’t think it’s 100% healthy though. Most of time I just feel frustrated that these acts are not returned. What a bummer . <pause> Sometimes I have a couple drinks to make the wall of adulthood come down a bit. It also has effects of excusing action – like no one really blames a person fully on their actions while that person is drunk because they have less ‘control’ over themselves. I can see why this action is addictive <smile>, but I’m not a very addictive person.

DR: … because you have control of yourself.

L: mm, more like I like to have control of myself 95% of the time.  This is the primary reason why I attend parties whenever possible.

DR: Sounds reasonable. Anything else happen during the holiday season? This time brings a lot of control and lack of control issues with people in general.

L: <pause> Oh, many more stories before I sleep. Aside from the family cheer, I got into a horrible argument trying to buy a pair of shoes at Hoitee Toitee department store. So the problem was that the sales person was having a horrible day and I just wanted to get a pair of shoes. Needless to say someone else received the commission, but it was just a situation that could have been completely avoided if they understood that a service based job is subjective at ALL times.  Plus, I think that if I am paying the price partially for the item and for the service, I expect to get both of them.

I thought this season was about cheer and thankfulness of the things we have already and the people around us. Instead it’s the season to run people over to get stuff that we don’t have but want. This is so depressing. Let me take more drugs <popping an aspirin>.

<pausing>Anyfoo, I’m looking forward to pampering my cousin after her procedure appointment.

DR: Sounds like a very adult thing for you to do <smile>.  <gets up> So I’ll see you next time? Try not to get too childish over the remaining seasonal parties to miss our sessions?

L: <hahaha> I will try not to!